Expectations

I've been thinking a lot lately about my expectations as a mother, and how my actions are usually connected to them. The Bible exemplifies how theology affects our actions, and I have seen this to be so true recently with the some erroneous expectations I've had as a mother that need to re-aligned to the Word of God and the Cross.

A few months ago, Gus and I were talking with a pastor and his wife about parenting. I shared how sometimes I am surprised and even shocked when my children sin, especially when they do things that seem "extra" bad. Like the time Cael dumped every single one of his bins and all of the toys from inside those bins onto the floor. Every.Single.Toy.AND puzzle AND game piece. And all oh so quickly-while I was in the shower! He made such a mess that I could not even see the floor nor walk through his room.

The pastor, who has a few grown children, first laughed at my example, and then reminded me not to be surprised. I am a sinner. My child is a sinner. So why should their sin surprise me? This started me thinking about why their sin does indeed surprise me. It's almost like I expect them to be a more mature, more perfect person than I am. Of course when I admit that out loud, I realize how foolish it is. But that's essentially what I am saying when I am surprised by their sin.

This pastor went on to remind me that, if I have the correct expectations, it will be less of a temptation for me to be angry when they sin, because I am not acting from surprise but instead from love and kindness, when they need it the most. I can calmly and faithfully correct their sin because this is my job as a parent. Essentially, if I have correct, biblical expectations about the sinful nature of my child, then it will be easier for me to joyfully obey the commands that fill the Bible and especially Proverbs about being diligent to discipline my children.

I have also been thinking about how the Cross changes my expectations towards my children when they sin. If I let Christ's death on the Cross infiltrate my thoughts and expectations, then it will completely eliminate any self-righteousness that I might be tempted to feel towards my children when they sin. The Cross reminds me that I am on the same, equal footing as my children in the eyes of the Lord. I am just as much in need of Christ's sinless sacrifice as they are. And while I have been given a place of authority over my children's lives, that does not negate my sinfulness. And even though my sin might not be a failure to pick up my Lego's right away, my sin is just as heinous in the eyes of the Lord. I am just as much in need of His grace and mercy as they are.

Basically I need to keep myself tethered to the Cross. This means that I need to be consistently keeping myself from straying far in my thoughts, motives, or expectations from Christ's death for me. The result is that my perspective towards my obedience as a faithful and consistent mother will change from an attitude of drudgery to wonderful obedience when I consider how great Christ's love was for me which caused Him to die for me on the Cross. I often remember a sermon John Koh preached about this subject and how when our focus is on the Cross, our obedience is not a duty nor a chore, but a delight.

Now, more than ever before, do I need Biblical, Cross-Centered expectations. I am so thankful that I am not in this journey as a mother alone. But can daily, hourly, call upon the Lord for my source of wisdom and strength.

PS-These beautiful pictures were taken by either Matt Floreen or Rich Hall when we were in Greece. Check back for the next post to be about our time in Greece at the GCC Missionary Conference.